April 22, 2022- Important Factors That Make a Child Vulnerable to Predator at Home
John C Morley (00:09):
Hi everyone. I'm John C Morley, the host of the JMOR TECH TALK SHOW and inspirations for your life.
John C Morley (01:01):
Well, Hey everyone. And welcome once again to the JMOR TECH TALK SHOW. We only have one more week this month, Marcus. Where'd it goes?
It went away. Talk about springing up.
John C Morley (01:19):
But you know, we have a great guest tonight. We've had him on before, but there's always some wisdom that we need to learn from him. Dr. Michael Nuccitelli will learn a little more about him later, and he's going to be sharing some really important facts about life and how you need to stay safe with your life and your children. And I want to share something really important before we break him up because I don't wanna keep him waiting too long in our waiting room. But you know the question I have for all of you is what makes a child vulnerable to predators at home makes them well, you know, that's a great question, and you know, it's teams and that darn technology they use that makes them vulnerable to becoming victims. So how does this happen? Well, the way it happens is because a lot of teens, you know, go into this introvert, and they use their devices usually in their bedrooms, which is not a great idea.
John C Morley (02:34):
And also, because their parents are busy, they use technology in a bad way, and they connect with all these people that have this superficial charm. And based on that, they become best friends with them because they can't even become friends with their parents. After all, they're too busy, right. If the parents knew what was going on, they probably would spend more time with their children. And so what I want to understand is that teens and technology are where the challenge happens. And so later on in the program, after Dr. Michael Nuccitelli comes up, I'm going to share some tips on how you can actually, I'm going to call it lockdown and protect your child so they can still have a little bit of freedom. However, you can still get some peace of mind because one thing we don't want here on the JMOR TECH TALK SHOW is to have your kids becoming a statistic or becoming a victim.
John C Morley (03:34):
And we hear about this all the time. You're like, well, it's not my kid. It's not my kid. It's never going to happen to me. I get it. I know they're intelligent. I know they're great kids, but at the end of the day, they get lonely, and they look for an outlet. And when somebody else is willing to take an interest in them, even though that interest appears to be genuine is nothing but garbage. It causes your son or daughter to want to befriend them. And that's where ladies and gentlemen, it becomes live. And it gets very, very dangerous.
John C Morley (04:14):
I want to welcome to the JMOR TECH TALK SHOW Dr. Michael Nuccitelli, who is an expert in cyberbullying, cyberstalking, cyber-criminal minds, and helping people to understand the decisions that we make online actually fuel the things we do offline. Please help me welcome you once again. And I'm sure we'll see him many times in the future, Dr. Michael Nuccitelli to the JMOR TECH TALK SHOW one. Well, hi, everyone. It is my pleasure to have Dr. Nuccitelli with us. Once again, he was with us just around the pandemic's start. If I remember correctly and I told you that we would bring him back on, he was a great guest, and he has some more great information. If you don't know who Dr. Michael Nuccitelli is, he's an expert in the psychology of cyberbullying, cyberstalking cyber-criminal minds. And by day, he is also a clinical psychologist. Please help me welcome. Give a warm round to Dr. Michael Nuccitelli to talk to us today about some things that we need to know in our minds because if we don't might get other people or us into some serious trouble welcome, Dr. Nuccitelli, to the JMOR TECH TALK SHOW.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (05:39):
Oh, good day, Mr. Morley; thank you for having me on, and hoping everybody, as I always say, is both online, safe, and COVID safe.
John C Morley (05:48):
That's a that's we joke about that, you know, but I think it's the truth because now we're taking off the mask, and another guest told me this. Yes. that you know, four or five years ago, if I walked into a convenience store and I had a mask on my face.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (06:03):
John C Morley (06:04):
I think they would call the cops, or they would arrest me, right? Yes. Now it's okay to go into a bank masked up. I was somewhere the other day at a school. You know, they scan your IDs to make sure you haven't done anything. And by the way, that's a misnomer because they only check what happened. 24 or 48 hours. They can't check what just happened 10 minutes ago. You're hoping somebody didn't do anything. But my point is that when I did this, I had my mask on. I said to the guy, should I take no, no, don't worry about your mask. You're fine. He didn't even want me to take my mask off the seat. I could have been 10 other different people under that mask. Right? So you cover a lot of great topics. And the one that I want to talk about first today is a lot of people don't know what a predator is? Right. A predator is a standard. So give us a few moments to talk a little about I predator, and maybe just give us a little rundown. So some of the chores at home it's not just a word that you and I just made up today.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (07:01):
No, it's not. No, it's; actually, I don't know. I call it the dark side of the cyberspace concept. You, so you can say it involves cyberpsychology, psychology, but essentially what I predator is, as I said, it's a dark side of cyberspace concept that introduces eight different types of online aggressors. And I can give those to your listers very quickly. First, we have cyberbullying, which is the pediatric manifestation, and that is the child-on-child cyber-attacks. The adult forms of cyberbullying would be cyber harassers, cyber stalkers, and internet trolls. Then we have cybercriminals, cyber terrorists, and then the most deviant perverse of the eight are the online child predators and online child pornography consumers and distributors. Those eight types of online aggressors make up the concept of a predator. So that is the first aspect of I predator.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (08:06):
And then second, very quickly for your, you know, viewers to know whether or not they or someone they know is an eye predator. Very simple is the use of information and communication technology to target and harm someone else. Number two is self-awareness of causing harm to someone else, which can be a little bit murky when we talk about mitigating factors. But the vast majority of people online users know are aware when they're causing harm. And then the third criteria is called. What I call is cyber stealth, which is not only online deception but is creating a methodology, a, a system of how you're going to completely maintain your anonymity when you're targeting others, or you're going to skew aspects of what you're doing to have what you know, many know what's called plausible deniability. So if you meet those three criteria and you do it repeatedly more than one, more than three times, three or more, you are an eye predator.
John C Morley (09:23):
So that's great, that's a great concept, you know, at a lot of people a variety of different ages, you know, dating has morphed from something in person to now being online. And I guess my question is because a lot of people out there don't think they're doing anything wrong. So let's kind of educate them. Is it okay for them to have their first name and not their full name? They're not lying about themselves, but they just don't want to give too much information because they're afraid that their identity might get stolen.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (09:57):
Most certainly, for online safety purposes, it is recommended these days not to give out, and I will start. I'll give you a quick online safety TIFF. I say it all the time, every volunteer call, personal information, personal information, personal information, the less personal information you give out online, the lower probability you have of getting targeted. Now, if you're going to have a pseudonym, that's certainly fine. Some may not agree with it, but if you're looking to practice online safety, sometimes it's a good idea. Now, if you are an educator, if you're a public figure such as yourself or maybe myself, you know I can't give out a false name because I have a concept attached to that, and they educate folks about dealing with it. But there are many tips and many different, you know, tactics to take. But what it comes down to is if you are being targeted by a predator, it is beginning to understand whether you can identify them. Often you know who the eye predator is. But then there is the possibility of not knowing who an eye predator is. So it is essentially practicing digital citizenship and online safety to reduce the probability as low as possible.
John C Morley (11:23):
So it's okay. Like I always use the joke, but it's a truth. You wouldn't give out your credit card to a total stranger in person or your social security number, for that matter. Right?
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (11:34):
Of course. But,
John C Morley (11:35):
No, you'll do it over the internet. You feel comfortable. You feel like it's okay, but it's not. And so people that are dating, go online, they create a profile, they have a good picture. You don't want to use a false picture, but they use a picture, and they might not use their right first name. It's okay. What I tell people to do a lot of times is, you know, you don't know if the person you're going to be with is going to be a problem you don't know. And so a lot of times I tell people don't give your phone number out.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (12:02):
No, never give out. No, no.
John C Morley (12:04):
If you need a way to communicate, use a disposable number for the
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (12:08):
Well, and also it's always when it comes to online dating, which I have a page on my site and online dating safety tips is, is to always, before you disclose any personal aspects about yourself is you meet in a public arena first, whether it be at a restaurant and a mall, and obviously, it's highly recommended, particularly for females on that first date or that first meeting, not only do you meet in a public forum, but you bring along a friend or someone.
John C Morley (12:37):
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (12:38):
So that is very important,
John C Morley (12:40):
But using a disposable number for, you know, having a way to communicate with someone. And the nice thing I like is when we talk about stalking, okay. Yes. People don't realize that you know, I gave my phone number out cause I was innocent. And I said to you, you know, I didn't know that Sarah or Mike or Kara were going to keep. And I said, please stop calling me. But yet they're calling me, and they're harassing me. And why don't we just clarify for the viewers, Dr. Michelle? Cause I know this is a really big concept for a lot of people, especially teenagers and older. What does it mean when we say cyberstalking? Let's talk about what does that mean if we could talk,
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (13:16):
Well, thank you for bringing that up because that is a growing topic in a growing trend. So sticking, stalking, and cyberstalking are pretty much the same thing, but obviously, cyberstalking is the use of information technology, whether any type of electronic device you could also throw in use email emails, but essentially there are three types of cyberstalking. There is the first one, which is habitually contacting somebody using electronic devices. So commonly, it's kind of like joking, you know, when a female will say, oh, I wish that John would stop. He's cyberstalking. He won't stop calling. He keeps emailing me. That is the softest form of cyberstalking. Although it can be frustrating and it can move into something serious, that is the most, you know, if I may say soft, another definition of, of cyberstalking is which Mr. Morley, you wouldn't even know is online surveillance.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (14:17):
Online surveillance is where I am taking my time. I may be spending money to compile data about you and to learn every aspect I can say about you and your loved ones, which can include me going and monitoring your social media accounts, and spending money, to be able to compile personal data about you. So that is online surveillance, but the one that is the most severe and the most potentially lethal and dangerous is the direct or indirect threats of physical harm. So, if I make indirect or direct threats of physical harm and you begin to experience fear, and I do it repeatedly, that is cyberstalking. Children can cyber be stalking one another, and adults can cyber stalking one another. But the issue with cyberstalking is, is that when cyberstalking has occurred, it can move into serious, serious issues. And oftentimes, cyberstalking and stalking walk hand in hand, not all the time, but they can occur simultaneously. I would guess again that I don't have hard effects. It's based on all my research. I would say between 80 to 90% of all cyberstalking, the target, the victim knows or is affiliated with the predator. That's doing the cyberstalking.
John C Morley (15:46):
I tend to agree with you. And I think a lot of people don't realize that, you know, when they do this, a lot of times it can just be a neighborly dispute, but what I want to caution people, and you can give your 2 cents on this being a first responder, I've come in contact with people where, you know, they have a dispute between two neighbors, and it's a dispute. That's all it is. It doesn't need to turn into a legal battle. But what a lot of people sometimes do is a lie. And when you go to the police, and you tell them that, you know, there's a problem, they don't do anything unless you tell them you're in fear of your life,
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (16:26):
John C Morley (16:26):
That's the only time. And once you do that, now you make a statement, a whole testimony, and guess what happens? Well, there's a good shot that person could probably get arrested. I'm guessing.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (16:36):
Well, that is why cyberstalking is it's not just a direct or indirect threat of hurting you. It's also if you know, I'm experiencing, I'm becoming afraid of what you're doing. So you don't have to say, you know, Dr. Nuccitelli, I'm going to put nine penny nails in your back tires. I'm going to burn down your house. No, you could be trolling harassing toting me. And if I begin to spare, you know, fear and start to question, not only my safety or my loved ones, or maybe folks associates at my job, that is cyberstalking.
John C Morley (17:14):
And again, I think the point this can happen between boyfriend, girlfriend, same-sex relationships, and the big challenge with this is that a lot of times it's used as an edge because they have an ego and they're trying to, you know, win when nobody did anything wrong, but they're trying to lie about a situation I've seen that happen.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (17:37):
Yeah, I mean all adversarial relationships are rooted in whether it's an interpersonal relationship, a love relationship, whether it or two work associates, whether it is, you know, consumer and, you know product service provider, it's rooted in power and control. That's what it's all about. So when there are disagreements online, they can quickly accelerate and elevate into a heated manner. And one of the reasons why I believe that is because what I call the veil of anonymity, the veil of anonymity, Mr. Morley, even like right now, is I can hide behind a computer screen. I can hide behind my Android, my mobile device. I can either disclose my true identity, or I could be Bob Seeger. And you know, I'm talking to you from a different state when in reality I live right next door. So the veil of anonymity, as I said earlier, one of the criteria of being an eye predator is cyber stuff. So it is, it's not just maybe hiding my identity completely, but it's also potentially skewing that. And this is where online deception becomes a huge aspect of exchanges online.
John C Morley (19:00):
So, it comes down to what somebody's intention is really what it comes back to Dr. Nuccitelli. If somebody is hiding, because they're trying to protect themselves, no harm, no foul, but if somebody is hiding, because I'm trying to do something or cause someone harm or to learn something that could potentially cause them or blackmail them, then that could get into the umbrella of cyberstalking.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (19:24):
Most certainly, or again, I predator, you can be a child, you can be an adult. You have I predator, which is the way I authored and created. A predator is that the vast, obviously not children in cyberbullying, but a good percentage of it is, is illegal. It is engaging in abusive deviant criminal behavior, but you're motivated for those reasons. Okay. But then I also have a subconcept of I predator called I predator bridge and what I predator bridge. These are online users that are they're good at heart, but because they become so enraged and so angry at the person that they're dealing with. So, for instance, I'll just give an example. I am a right-wing Republican, and you are a left-wing, liberal, progressive Democrat. And we are bantering online, and it engages in a heated argument, also called flaming for the kids.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (20:24):
And now I began to target you, and I cross the bridge, and I become an eye predator. Now my passion, my reason for targeting you, is not for criminal reasons. Not because I'm a deviant, not because you know I am a pedophile looking to make money from child pornography. I am targeting you becoming engaging as an eye predator because why you do not meet my ideological belief system, you hurt my feelings. So now I target you. So the eye predator can also be an eye predator bridge, an online user, or a person with a good heart, but now engages in multiple cybers tax.
John C Morley (21:12):
I think, you know, this makes us think because, you know, when somebody does something like this, it's premeditated. Usually, it's not something that just happens off the off of a fly unless they're angry or something like that. But a lot of these stalkings are premeditated. Am I correct about that? That they basically
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (21:34):
Most are, but you get them in a court of law. The mitigating factors, the defense attorney tries to say, you know, that it was done by impulse a, a, a crime of passion. When we look again, I don't want to get into my life as a forensic psychologist in my past life. But when we're, you're correct, Mr. Paul, when we're talking about medicating factors, there is a myriad of reasons why people do what they do. The difference is that online, you can do it. You can target people. And there is almost no accountability for targeting, hurting, taunting, oftentimes stealing from other people, trolling, you know, there's no accountability in this country. And I don't know of in any industrialized country we do not have what's called criminal defamation. I believe it needs to exist because I believe you can destroy a person's entire career through slander, disinformation, and liability. But we don't have that here. I think it needs to occur, but you can truly brutalize others by using information technology.
John C Morley (22:42):
I agree. And I've always said that you know, anything could be used for good or bad, correct. Whether it's a weapon or whether it's a computer system, whether it's drones, you know, you can use it for good, which is to help you further and empower your life. Or you can use it for bad, which is to demean and harm someone else's life. Right. Which is a bad use of it. And so I think as we, as now, you know, we're in the COVID, I'm going to call it the wrap-up, hopefully, you know, knock, knock wood what is going on now in people's heads, do you think with, you know, everything opening up, what do, what do you feel about that now, as opposed to them being locked down into like captivity for months?
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (23:26):
Well, I think people, what I, again, I'm basing this as one thing is by day, I have my group practice. I work with the chronically mentally ill. I also supervise my other psychologists and social workers, and we cover different facilities. So by day, I work with the chronically mentally ill ski, effective schizophrenic, depressed, and developmentally disabled. These are adults that for decades, you know, have suffered from chronic mental illness. All right. Then after work and on the weekends for the last 10, 11 years, I volunteer to help people who've been cyber-attack. So I have seen the entire myriad of folks from offline, chronic mental illness to online people that are professionals, doctors, or to learnings folks like yourself that are dealing with what we've just gone through for the last two years called COVID in the pandemic.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (24:21):
As you know, we are social creatures Kalia, Alfred Adler, where I am Adlerian Adler said, as we come into this world and we go out of this world seeking three things to be recognized, to be validated, and to be part of, we are social creatures. We are social animals by, you know, that by design. So when you take away the social aspect of the community of going out to the community, we ex have a negative it harms us. And that negative effect can range from depression all the way to rage to becoming asocial and becoming apathetic. So we know not only has COVID caused a lot of medical illness and death, but on a larger scale, the psychological aspect from a sociological aspect, it has traumatized most societies significantly. And now, what makes it even a little bit more frustrating?
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (25:28):
And this has been going on for the last few years, and we seem to be fluctuating. And again, I'm not blaming any government because we have new variants of the COVID. We go from it's okay to go outside, back to wearing a mask, back to being, and you know, where I reside, and I work, I live in an urban area of, of the metropolitan New York City area. So, my patients and the folks that I'm dealing with daily, become incredibly frustrated when they're told they can't go outside. And when they do go outside and if they go to a local deli and they don't have their mask with them now, Mr. Morley, these, these residents, God bless them. They are suffering from major psychiatric illnesses. So even the smallest little resistance that they get can cause tremendous, you know, distress and despondent. So that is where we are now. I'm just by the grace of God. I'm hoping we're moving away to where we get back our freedom.
John C Morley (26:34):
I think we are moving in that direction, but there are still some scared people. Some older people, you have some worried people. I also believe that our administration of the world, I'll call it, is not being truthful with us. They're not sharing what is going on. I won't get into that in this show, but I like the Ukrainian things that are happening.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (26:55)
John C Morley (26:56)
what's happening there without getting too deep is not what it appears on the surface.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (27:02):
John C Morley (27:03):
What's happening is a good thing for a lot of reasons. And I know there are some bad people there, and there are some good people there, but the majority of what's happening for us, you guys have to trust me on this. I know some people in the service, and it's being done for our better. Good, and later on, this truth is going to come out. And I think that the problem is that we were just lied to; we were given misinformation. I think that's the biggest thing.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (27:32):
If I may relate to this and not get into them,
John C Morley (27:35)
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (27:36)
But it's called state-sponsored trolling. It'll be interesting to learn, which we won't know for some time, but state-sponsored trolling is where a state, a nation, a group employs and, you know, takes online users to troll and target others and to spread disinformation. All right, you have misinformation, which is not fact. And then you have disinformation, which is even seedier. Disinformation is with intent, creating nonsense. Forgive me is creating information and putting it out there, and saying it's the truth. And that is what state-sponsored trolls do. The question is; obviously, it's going on right now, but to what extent is it going on and how effective is it going on, and are regular media outlets picking up this information? And now just regurgitating it, you know, over the airways. We don't know.
John C Morley (28:43):
That is a big problem. And I think what a lot of people need to understand. I tell people don't watch TV because the TV is, is infiltrated. And not too long ago, I became a member of the international press association. And so the reason I did that is to be a journalist and also a video journalist. I take providing information very seriously and making sure people understand that it's the truth. You've had people in your field, I'm sure. And they said, well, if I give you this, can you write this down? Or can you, can you put this down instead? I've had so many people in, in the tech field, well, John, I'll give you 200 bucks, just make the things that disappear. I can't do that.
John C Morley (29:28):
Well, the other company companies said we've been in business X years. Not only is that an illegal thing to do, but it's also immoral and wrong. You’re one of those people. Yes. And I'll tell you right now, just the fact that you asked me that question, I'm going to recommend that you find another company handles your, it needs like, you're, we didn't know we were going to, you were going to be so offensive, and you were going to, you know, get all up in your face about it. I said, I just feel that if we're going to have this conversation today, then what's going to happen down the road. I'm very serious about that. Dr. Nuccitelli, and I'm also serious about something else. And it's called a no-discrimination policy. I had a client not too long ago. New clients, we're talking to us, and they were rude, which is okay.
John C Morley (30:20):
I mean, I can deal with being rude, but there are some things we don't tolerate. So they were starting to curse at us and things like that and say bad things. And I, and starting to accuse us that we did this and we didn't even do anything there. And so this happened a second time. I told you about the first time we didn't tolerate that. They did it a second time. And when it happened a second time, they were demanding. We got back to them. We called them back. We helped them with the problem. We fixed their issue. It wasn't even our issue. Somebody else had done it before us. And we're talking with them. And I said, I just want to let you know something, you know, where our calls are monitored and recorded for quality assurance purposes. And they're logged digitally for seven years. You know that that's no secret, and I want to let you know something everything's good right now. Is there anything else we can help you with today? No. No, we're all good. Great. I want to let you know about our policy. No discrimination. We don't discriminate for race, religion, sexual orientation, color, creed, or any need anything.
John C Morley (31:18):
And this isn't the first time does come to my attention, either through me or through other staff members, that you're using words that should not be addressed to us. Okay. And you also have an attitude that is disrespectful to my team, my staff, and my administration. So I'm going to make this very, very clear to you. This is your final warning. If this happens again, you will get a letter in the mail from us letting you know that your service is being terminated in 30 days; here are all your passwords. As we can't work with a company like that, a week later, we went out there to talk with them, and they started using those words. I said, what did we say last week? Oh, you're going to, you're going to be one of those people. Well, we make so much money. We can do our, what I said, that's fine. Have a nice day. Well, you didn't fix anything. I said I had to go. They got a letter the next day we're filming. And I don't know why it is Dr. Nuccitelli, but why do some people, this is what I wanna, why do some people feel entitled? I, I don't get that.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (32:27):
Why do some people feel? That's that question right there? We could spend hours.
John C Morley (32:33):
All right. Okay. A short, a short, a short one.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (32:35):
I don't want to psychologize. I mean, it could be accessed. One, particularly people that are self-entitled, you know, tend to be not always, but that self-entitlement, if it's that overt. Okay. Because when we talk about self-entitlement, we have to always look at it from, a continuum, from mild to severe. And the case that you're talking about, it sounded like the self-entitlement of this person was upper moderate to severe, which then would open up, the possibility, if he or she is access to personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, people that are, you know, moderately to severely narcissistic. They're incredibly self-entitled people with some access ones that are bipolar are also you know, are, are self-entitled, and you also have people that don't suffer from a psychiatric illness. How do I say this? Nicely? They're just jerks. Okay. There are people whose attitude, their personalities, and who there are. They live, and they believe in their narcissism. They believe they're the center of their universe. So, of course, they're self-entitled because they deserve everything.
John C Morley (33:58):
I think that's a big nutshell right there. That's a big bomb show right there. But even the lady that comes for the Starbucks or the coffee, and she parks her car there for five minutes, and she's there 20 minutes. And then they're blowing her up on Facebook because she was there 25 minutes. And he said, well, it wasn't my fault. The kid at the barista took 15 minutes. If he knew how to make the coffee run, I would've only been three minutes. Well, that's not the point you parked in a spot that was for handicapped people or a fire emergency engine. Well, there was no fire then. Yeah. That's not the issue. And this is something that, and I'm very calm about everything. I don't like it when people prove key.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (34:44):
Well, and again, so, but as you say, self-entitlement is wonderful. I mean, geez, I just used it today in session with one of my patients where they were engaging; they were being self-entitled with another resident. It is a nasty attribute, Mr. Morley, you know that we, we all, because again, as I said, and again, I'm not the selling Alfred Adler, but Adler had said we are social animals with social creatures. And so self-entitlement, that not that is very, I hate to say antisocial asocial. It is not prosocial. It is not, you know, conducive to the group in the community when you're you're self-entitled it's, it's awful. It's, and it's very unattractive too.
John C Morley (35:29):
So I want to ask you one more question, and then we're going to have you come back because you have lots of great information. We'll have you back again next week. I want to ask you the question, and that is when is it? Because a lot of people, you know, push that panic button too quickly. Right. They push it too quickly, and I get that. People want to be protected. I get that. But when is it that people should be alarmed? When is it that people should get help? I think that's an important question that I want to end on today.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (35:58):
Well, get help when you grow concerned, Okay. So obviously, we all have constitutions. Some of these are easily provoked. Some of these have, you know, what's called the proverbial thick skin. Some of us are just so thick skin we're idiots, and we don't do anything until the last gun is fired. So when it comes down to being cyber attacked when it's dealing with eye predators, it's one first, and foremost is it occurs repeatedly. So, if you're targeted one time online, and somebody makes a, a CRAs comment or said something in, in a public forum online about you and does it one time and everybody gets their ha-ha’s, and you know, you're being castigated. You step back; you take a look; you take stuff, you block them, you turn it off. You move on, go outside, get a drink, whatever. But when it begins to happen repeatedly by the same person or persons, that is when you begin to say is the red flag going up. And then, from there, you begin to have to take steps depending on what's going to happen. So it is first and foremost, is it happening in a repeated manner?
John C Morley (37:11):
I think the most important thing. And you can agree or disagree with me. I think it's communication. I think when something happens with someone, communication is always important at all times. So if there's something that you're doing. And if people are unwilling to communicate, this is why verification drives me crazy. I'm not going to try to analyze somebody, but if somebody's lied to me multiple times, then communication is off. Like there's no point.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (37:36)
John C Morley (37:37)
You're not going to work with me. I had somebody just the other day that told me they were doing stuff, and it was for a charity I was doing. And they're like, well, John, yes, I'm doing this. And I said, you know, I want to ask you a truthful question. Are you putting that sign up for me? If you're not, it's okay. But can you just tell me, because I don't want to waste your time?
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (37:56 )
Right, you just said it, Mr. It's repeated multiple times. So, but when it comes to online, I mean obviously if it's something egregious and something salacious, but most, most stuff that goes on, you know, online related to the I predator is cyber harassment, a little bit of cyberstalking internet trolling, defamation slander. If it happens once, maybe two times, you can let it go, try to communicate assert yourself. But if it begins to establish what's called a pattern of three or more. That's when you have to begin to take stock and realize that the online user, the agency, or whoever you're dealing with may not be kosher. They may not be the individuals that you should be dealing with.
John C Morley (38:41):
And I want to add one more point on that before we have to have you go for today. And that is sometimes your point of what you believe, you know, might be okay. Somebody else might cause your bells or cause you to have to jump. If you feel okay yourself, there's no need to react. If somebody else says, well, you better do something. And I can't tell you how many times I've had friends get into trouble because boyfriend, girlfriend, somebody says to me, well, you better do something for me. If you're okay with the way everything is and you're feeling fine, don't let somebody else tell you how to run your life.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (39:19):
You are a thousand percent correct. And maybe in the next show, we can talk a little bit about odour, you know, but exactly. I mean, yes, it'd be wonderful. We could all be what's called the word diplomatic. We're not seeing that right now on the geopolitical stage, but yes, you're correct. Diplomacy is a priority for all of us, being social creatures.
John C Morley (39:43):
Well, ladies and gentlemen, we do have to go to our next show, which will be the following week right after this. And you guys know that we talk about great things. So, we're going to talk about odour, and we're knocking talking about something you smell. So, if you want to learn more about that, definitely tune into our show next Friday at 5:30 PM Eastern, or you can catch our pre-snippets where we'll tell you a little bit about what's going to be on the show, but you're going to have to watch the whole show to learn what odours about. Dr. Nuccitelli, it is always a privilege, a pleasure, and an honor to have you on the show. And I look forward to having you on next week again, and we'll continue this great conversation.
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (40:21):
Thank you, Mr. Morley. Thank you very much.
John C Morley (40:23):
Are there any parting words that you want to leave our viewers with today?
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli (40:26):
No, sir. I look forward to talking again as we approach the psychology of the online user of their oddor.
John C Morley (40:36):
All right, everyone. We will see you guys back next time, but I have some great stuff to share with you in just a few moments. We're going to talk more about how our minds are evolving technology to cause things like our phones having us watch people. We're going to talk about that technology coming up next.
John C Morley (41:05)
Marcus, what did you think of him?
Man? Just deep intense real great material content that came our way today, and it's very educational, and I learned a lot.
John C Morley (41:17):
I always learned every time he came on, and we didn't have enough time to fit the whole interview into one show. So, we had to bring him back. He'll be back the following week so that we can wrap up because there were still some things I wanted to ask him, but we didn't have time. Yeah. And you know, I think what he does is make the things that are happening in life relatable. The fact that, well, it's not going to happen to my kid. It's not going to happen in my life. And I get that. I know you're smart. And I know you're always on top of things, but I'm here to tell you that you're not there; every moment that doesn't make you a bad parent doesn't make you a bad brother or bad relative. These professionals are experts in manipulating your son or daughter.
John C Morley (42:09):
So that they can exploit them for many different reasons, I hope that you will listen to everything he said and that you'll rewatch this video as well as something really important. I want to share it with you right now. All right. Parents and concerned guardians and friends. I want to share a safety tip. Okay. You've got to be careful with the internet devices. Okay. And there should be no internet devices in your children's rooms. Now you might say, well, gee, they have to do homework. Okay, fine. If they have to do homework, have the computer out in your family room somewhere where you can be there and see what they're doing even if you're not there. If someone else, another parent, another older brother, sees what's going on, they're not going to be able to just hide what's going on. So that's important. Always have social media accounts set to private, turn off location, and tracking on them.
John C Morley (43:14):
Extremely important. If they have an iPhone, which is what I'm going to go over. But there are similar tactics for Android, go to settings. Then look for screen time, enable screen time and start restricting the amount of time your children use this on the phone, you'll set a password, and they will only get a certain amount of time to use these applications, settings, privacy, location services, and set your camera to never very important. If you don't do this, what will happen is these bad people, I'll call them the bad actors, will be able to track down where your son or daughter is, stake them out, meet them live. And this laser gentleman can get very dangerous. Why don't you make a pack or sign an agreement with Your child and let them know about internet safety and what could happen and that you care about them and you love them and that you want to make a pack with them that if something ever happens like this, they will come and tell you?
John C Morley (44:41):
The last thing I want to ask you to do is to get a router that can restrict the amount of time they're online and when they can serve most challenges happen when teens are home alone, and their parents are at work or late at night. So, what should you do? Block internet traffic late at night. You're probably in bed. And there are probably things that are happening that you wouldn't be on board with. So why don't you get proactive and block these things? Now, what I want you to understand is that it's important to place the location of your computer in a publicly accessible area. This way, you know, they're not going to pull up content that you probably wouldn't approve of. And if they do, you're going to be able to go there right away and say, what are you looking at? Or what are you doing?
John C Morley (45:40):
Let them know about the dangers of being in chat rooms and using applications. Let them know what personal information is and what they shouldn't share. Personal information is anything that would allow a stranger, someone they don't know to be able to identify them. That could be your name. That could be your address. That could be a lot of different things. So, have that conversation with them. But lastly, I want you to know that you do love them, but why don't you share with them. Time and plan activities with them. So, you could play games, talk about your day, but have a fun activity scheduled. And when you decide to become genuinely interested in their life.
John C Morley (46:26):
Like Mr. Dale Carnegie said, “they're going to want to become interested in you. And best of all, they're gonna be friends. You and they're gonna open up to you when things don't seem right. You see, teens don't open up because they always feel that they need to rebel. They're still gonna do that in some areas of their life. But when it comes to internet safety, let them know that this shouldn't be one of those areas because you value them. Remember when you're talking to them, not to make it a lecture, make it a suggestion, talk with them a little bit. And then when you have this time and something comes up that isn't just right, they're gonna share with you what's going on. And you won't even have to ask”. I hope that this episode of the JMOR TECH TALK SHOW woke some people up. And not only that, I hope that we have given you the information to arm you so that you not only can manage the safety and security of your child but prevent them from being a statistic and having you filled with nights of challenges and troubles all because you were too busy to take time, to be proactive in their internet and social media life.
John C Morley (47:55):
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John C Morley, serial entrepreneur. And if you didn't know by now, I care about you, your life, and your family. And I not only wanna inspire you to become a better version of yourself and help other people become better versions of themselves. I want to make sure that you will live a very long time. I guess we've got to say goodbye, Marcus.
John C Morley (48:19):
Take care, everyone. We will see you next week with some even more heart-wrenching details of how you can protect your child's life. Don't miss it, and share this episode with everyone. You know, let's make sure that your friends and your family don't become statistics and they stay alive.